Woman Shares Last Texts With Fiancé And It’s Proof That Life Is Fragile And Death Painful - Laughing-Colours.com


June 3, 2017

Woman Shares Last Texts With Fiancé And It’s Proof That Life Is Fragile And Death Painful

Goodbyes are the hardest. Ask anyone, who has lost a loved one to time and they’ll tell you, that it still hurts.
People say, time heals everything; but the truth is that time only makes the pain more bearable. Death is inevitable but when it’s untimely and innocent, it gives you an unsettling feeling.
While I was seeking some inspiration on how to live after losing someone I love, I stumbled upon a Quora thread, What was the last thing you said to someone before they died?. Frankly, the answers were not the respite I was searching for, but they taught me to live for the ones we still have and it’s an important lesson to be learned. 

The answer that particularly spoke to me was written by Apoorva Mohan. She wrote about losing her fiancé in a road accident and shared the last conversation they had. It’s a painful and emotional read –

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“It sucks that I haven’t been able to talk to you for 5 mins straight. I’m sorry. I will make up for it once I’m back home. I love you. Ride safe tomorrow. Send me Snapchats.”
My last message to my fiancé the night before he died in a motorcycle accident.
“I know what you’re having to deal with. It’s alright. Will ride safe. I love you ”
His last message to me. These words are etched in my memory.
I was out of town for a conference and I had been so busy with work, I hadn’t talked​ to him properly. He went to bed early that night so as to wake up at 4 am for his ride. It was February 25th. He sent me that snap at 5 am and he was dead by 6.30 am. I came to know about the accident when his uncle called at 11.30. I knew right then that something horrible had happened to him. Otherwise his uncle (who didn’t have my number) wouldn’t be calling me. He said, ‘I’m going to tell you something, you need to be strong’. That was all he needed to say and I collapsed.
My worst nightmare had come true. I refused to believe that the love of my life was no more. I was on the floor, writhing in shock and grief. I saw all our hopes and dreams come crashing down.
After that phone call, everything else just went by in a haze. Someone hugged me while I screamed and wept my eyes out. Someone booked my flight. Someone packed my bags. Someone dropped me at the airport.
I remember calling my family one by one. I remember talking to my sister who broke down on the phone call. I remember making calls to his friends and giving them the news. I remember crying the entire time I was waiting to board the flight. I remember a kind stranger who offered me water. I remember another one who bought me a sandwich. I remember feeling absolutely numb the entire flight home. I remember wondering what his last thoughts were. I remember thinking I was not strong enough to see him. I remember my dad and his friends waiting to pick me up at the airport. I remember falling in my mom’s arms and shaking with grief. I remember my little brother trying to console me.
I spent the entire night sitting beside his coffin. I cried myself to sleep on his mother’s lap. I was surrounded by his friends who loved him and were worried about me. We exchanged stories about him and laughed. Next day he was to be cremated. In Hindu custom, women aren’t allowed to go to the crematorium. But his uncle said ‘screw that’ and took me and his mother along. I saw his father perform the last rites for his only son. I watched as his body entered the furnace. I turned to my best friend and told her I was scared. She held my hand and his mother held the other. As I saw him engulfed in flames, I whispered “I love you” one last time…
Writing this post was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. It was so painful, I had to write this in bits and pieces. I miss him every day. Sometimes you just don’t realize how quickly everything can fall apart, until it does. And no matter how tightly you try to hold on, it’s already gone. It’s been exactly 3 months now and I am nowhere close to being okay. I’m happy to have loved him but I still keep hoping that he is going to come back to me.
I’ve learnt that time does not heal anything, you just get used to the pain.

Edit: I’m adding the details of the accident to answer the DMs I have been getting here and Facebook.
He was on his KTM Duke 390 on the ECR near Mahabalipuram on way to Pondicherry. The exact details of the accident still aren’t clear. But consensus was that he collided head-on with a bus approaching from the opposite direction and died on the spot. Immediately after the collision his bike caught fire and was reduced to ashes, he suffered superficial burns but the people nearby were able to move him away from the fire before it did serious damage. He had all his protective riding gear on. But his helmet wasn’t equipped to handle high impact collisions, something he was aware of and had wanted to get a better one. He thought he had time till the next month to get it. But he was wrong, it was too late.

Life is fragile, it is there a second ago and the next moment, it’s gone.
And maybe not now, but last words will matter, someday. Speak kind, speak love and speak forgiveness.

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